Just say yes, girl !

Friday night. Me being a little bit freaky and naughty  with the champagne. Suddenly, a Facetime from the person who I didn’t expect that call and that person to  even think about me. Lovely conversation and suddenly the question.

“Shorty, you are still crazy I suppose”.

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BAM ! And then I realized that I became just normal. I hate it. I want my crazy nature  back no matter what. No way it happened. When? So, I am taking it back. Since now, I say yes to all the crazy ideas, stop ignoring people I fancy and etc. Why do we always create boundaries: too scary, to dangerous, too crazy. It’s like putting yourself in a carton box, but  you aren’t a cat.  I remember we went to the gym with D. at 1 am, then on a long walk on the uninhabited, abandoned riverside. Too late, too scary? Yes. True. Lots of adventures, memories and fun moments. Or like hitting clubs all night long. Where did all this fun disappear? Last time I was bored in the club. Can’t believe I’m writing it. Where was the last time I really had fun, not pretending that I have fun? Probably 2 years ago in Windsor,maybe in Nottingham too. Seriously !

Another crazy idea ” Go for a run”. I just did the heaviest workout even. I can’t even walk properly. But….”yes time”. It could have been worse. Thanks heaven that this idea stuck me when it’s not -20 degrees outside. So, run Forest, run !

It’s time to start living. NOW. Do what I want and screw this boundaries.

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What brings me down?

I started 2016 with working on myself. Some books really helped me out, like Instant Motivation by Chantal Burns and Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. These books really helped me to be back on track and open my eyes on obvious things.

First of all, I had to understand what brings me down.

-Being addicted of the outside sources (even belief that inspiration comes from outside)

– Waiting for best moment/right time.

-Asking too much advice (Do you think I ‘m on the right track?)

-Comfort zone became like a closet for me (cozy, warm, but SMALL)

– My way of thinking (I’ll be happy if…, I’ll start something if…, I’ll be be peaceful  if…) So, I have deleted if’s and  this is what happened. I’m happy, I’m starting  fresh idea, I am absolutely peaceful with myself). My way of thinking and attitude created problems, to be able to solve them I need to change it.

-In terms of projects I always ask too many questions (again IF (what if this is not gonna work, what if it doesn’t looks interesting enough). Since now, now questions, just create. All those questions made almost the good idea wash out and go to someone else). So, just go with it and see what happens!

-Not willing to see obvious things (yes, 100% GUILTY!)

-Negativity (moaning how bad things are). Well, those moans can happen for a short period of time. Then the magic slap should happen. It did happen. I’m happy that there was a very special person who just listened, understood and cheered me up).

I feel like this method really helped to not only understand problems, fears etc. but also overcome them.

 

 

 

My trip to China

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Well, well, well. I came back from China, Shanghai is amazing place. Although, I wish I could understand what people were saying to me. There were guys on the street, talking to me and I had no idea what do they mean. But, without language, I actually discovered so many good things. In the restaurant, I asked for tea. A woman brought me a glass of hot, ginger water. I used to hate ginger so much. But I guess, its time to change my default settings. Let’s say…a software update.

The other thing what stuck to my eyes was the lack of lighting in the shops that are off center. In my European understanding, when the shop is almost dark, its closed. But in China, it’s still open. I like all the eyes catching nice lighting on the building, streets and shops.

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The next thing that shocked me was e-bikes. They are very popular in China, much faster than a bike and yes, you

don’t need a driving license  for them. So, everyone can ride it…without common sense of rules. I was lucky to have a driver, because I have no idea what would happen if a drive in that country. People don’t actually look where they are driving because they have priority over cars.I saw three people on the e-bikes, where the last one was making selfie at the middle of the busy road. Then, I saw people traveling with dogs and even small children. Obviously, helmets aren’t popular too.  Every e-bike is a masterpiece, it has got it’s own unique style. Moreover, people bring blankets with them when they driving.

Ok, let’s talk about tea. All the tea that you can buy in the shop has nothing to do with the real tea. I felt in love with the Korean tea. It has got magical taste. I bought some tea for home, and I have no idea how I’m gonna survive when it’s gonna end. This is the reason why I haven’t bought anything from Chinese make up and skincare. I can’t even imagine what would happen with me. I even hate online shopping, it drives me insane and I hate hate waiting process. I decided to be mainstream, so I stick to my favorite MAC, Lancome, Diesel and Issey Miyake which are available for top ups everywhere.

I enjoyed spending time with Chinese people, I got to know their world, culture and life. Of course, I enjoyed the food so much. I have never ate that much sea food in my life. Greece was the last place where I ate octopus…and now I even ate shark. Last couple of months I was making myself eat, but I ate everything I saw in China. I even started my day with noodles. Architecture is amazing ! I couldn’t take my eyes of the buildings.

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Now, I can’t wait to be back.IMG_0579.jpgIMG_0584.jpg

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Winter comes twice.Overcoming depression

HOPePicture tell thousands words. Since summer I have been struggling with the depression. For many months I have been trying to hide it, pretend that I am fine. But I’m not.

I found the way out from this situation. I decided to face all the fears. This is how I felt. Cold.  So, this drawing really helped me to move on. I made this picture look unpleasant, dark, lifeless….even happy stickers doesn’t look happy anymore…even wings are fallen.

Even if you feel pain, it means you are still alive. If you are still alive, good moments will come. Sooner or later. They will. It takes time and patience.

Nothing can last forever. The good thing is that bad moments pass away, bad feelings fade out, things seems to fade away.Most important thing is to stay strong (even if it’s hard like hell).

So, this picture helped me to heal. Based on this experience, I suggest everyone to draw or write everything you feel.Face it, feel it and let it go. Now I feel fresh and full of life !  Now, its time for traveling, adventures, new people and cultures.

 

Light, give me light

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It’s all about finding light in the darkness. Hopefully, one day I will find bright colours again. Well, at least I’m trying all my best.

Also trying to do my 30 days positive challenge.  Atm I’m quite skeptical but let’s see what happens. Hope for the best

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