Adoption

Seriously, I am dying to get a dog, i really want husky but i think it will be better to take a dog from the shelter. I just wanna help a dog to get loving home. The problem is that dog is a HUGE responsibility and u have to be ready for that.

Now I am building my own business that requeres me to travel a lot, not just cities but countries as well. So, I spend most of my life in the airports.

Despite the fact that getting a dog is in my wish list, I think I might not be the right person for that and I dont wanna get this responsibility on someone when I am away.

And again, its not the right time and not the right place for me to get a dog… Feeling sad, because my dog passed away last year at the age of 14 years because of cancer and i miss it so much.

Destiny and positivity

First of all, as you already noticed, i have created this blog quite recently and I am still thinking of the topic that i could write about. Well, I came up with the idea that it will be any topic as SOON AS IT IS POSSITIVE. Look at our lives, there are so many negative things happening every day, month, year.The fact is the more you think about negative things, the more they come and join you. I decided that in this blog there will be positive things only. I will keep all the negativity behind, because it is not worth to be talked about.

The other thing I have noticed for this week is that you can do anything you want to do, but destiny will show you the place you belong. I have been challenging it this month, but I realised that not many factors depends on you..i feel so strange, it seems we dont rule our live. Someone does it for us, it can be anyone, from friends till the potential employee who decided whether they want to take you or not. What do u think about that?

Life

That’s a strange thing when u live in the city for 3 years and don’t meet any new people. When u are finally living, u suddenly meet very positive, unique and talented people. Its such a shame we didn’t met earlier.

For three years I havent met that many people that I met in two weeks time. I think my studies took all my time and effort and at the end of the day i was too tired to go and meet new people or even do any of the voluntary work. There were always deadlines coming in. I was counting those years by deadlines: “I have only got couple of weeks left and I haven’t even started”!!! OMG !!! Such a shame i didnt go anywhere, it has always been uni and library only…

how to get started in gym?

Many people prefer to do a small home workout, which is good. My aim was to work on my worst part of the body: my legs. My tights are massive and I am short, i knew they gonna stay like that forever (trust me, i tried to loose weight, now I am size 6 but still with massive tights). I accepted myself like this and just wanted to get some shape in them. YES, I WENT TO THE GYM. Home workout is good, but i need the whole atmosphere.

Of course, I have been gym before, usually it was just a lazy cardio. Then I dropped gym  and after one year I finally  decided to take things seriously. You know that situation, when you are skinny but dont have nice shape. So, I decided to skip cardio and do weights instead.

I was so embarrassed to go to this section. There were only guys who obviously know what they doing. From the side they dont look very friendly. In that time my confidence was -100.I was trying so hard, but realised that all the weights are already busy. I felt like everyone is looking at me, not only observing but actually judging. I made effort and finally got there. I was so naive, so I went to the free weights section and tried to squat with the 20 kg bar. HAHAHAHA seriously !!!I was trying so hard, but the bar was falling from one side to another one. I can imagine how funny it was to observe me from the side. I was blushing like hell. I could squat only 10 times.

So, next workout started with the Smith machine, where you get extra support. I started with the empty bar, then slowly increased the weights. After half of the year I was brave enough to try free weight again. Now I realised that I can squat with 40 kg. I was so surprised.

So, now I enjoy weights section, I dont feel embarrassed any more, I know what I am doing and how to do things in the right way. And you know what, guys look at me but i dont really care any more.

Me and Social Media

This is so interesting how people accept the information that we share online. One of my close friends decided to play a game with her other friend and asked me to put a status on Facebook as if we are moving to London. I did put it but forgot to hide it from my timeline.

Now I have been asked 15 times where I am gonna be and that people want to catch up with me. Well, I realised how powerful those posts can be. I knew people show off by putting posh pictures on their walls. Some people I know publish pictures like that, but in reality they work in the bars. Well, maybe I dont get something, what do u think?

But to be honest, the less information I share, the better I feel. Usually, I dont write any statuses or post any pictures, only my friends tag me sometimes. I dont like showing off what i have just because its my personal happiness and this is what and how I feel.At the end of the day, its not about what we drive, where we live and how much we spend. Its all about how great personality and how kind heart we have. For me luxury car is nothing more than thing to drive and the price determines how safe the car will be, the nice house is just a place to live with comfort without anyone to screen or shout. I am not judging anyone, I just giving my point of view.

Voluntary work

I never did anything voluntary. I wanted to try and see how I will feel about it and whether this is what I am feeling comfortable about. Moreover, I am  trying to get out from my comfort zone and do things I never did before.

For example, I didn’t like communicating with people, and I was so locked inside myself. I wasn’t open for communication and most of my time I spend alone, trying to ignore as much people as I want. I did it because I wanted to know who I am and who I can be without people who would affect my behaviour. Voluntary work helped me to realize that I am important and my opinion and experience can be interesting to someone. Moreover, I realized that I shouldn’t hide my personality any more.

After you finish uni, people expect from you a lot: getting full time work based on your education and be fully responsible for your life. But in reality, it is very difficult. For example, now I have NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING. I felt very bad about it, but after talking to the people today I realized that its ok to be confused. We all been there or will be there soon. This is time where you will grow as a person and decide whether you keep pushing and going through this confusing stage of your life or whether you decided to gave up.

Working with different people I realized that everyone is looking, and everyone experiencing some sort of  difficulties on they way. I was so wrong before, because I was jealous for successful people, like “He has got everything he wanted, I got nothing”. Luckily, time come to realise that this attitude is so wrong and it will not help me in the future. All it will do is get down and kill myself with the negative thought and envy. I didn’t realize that I dont see the whole story of those people, I only see SUCCESS but i don’t know how many times this person fail to pieces and work hard to go through negativity and failure to the success. So, now I know that I shouldn’t judge people cz I dont know the whole story.

I would recommend voluntary work for everyone, not for years, but for one day. You will look at yourself from a different point and explore so many important things about yourself.

To go or not to go ?

Many people ask me about my experience in Uni. Well, I can’t say that “Everyone should go” or “Screw Uni”. It depends who you wanna be and what you gonna do. Moreover, a degree can’t guarantee you a job either. Many of my friends are still looking for a job, even couple of years has passed since they have graduated due to the high number of applicants.

I remember, I wanted to work in Topshop. It was such a crazy idea that I want Topshop and only Topshop, even its not about my degree. I went for the interview and realised that I am one of the 30 candidates. Just imagine that Topshop offers a minimum wage, so what about a job for £30.000 a year? Probably, there will be even more candidates.

What is my plan now? First of all, grow and become a better person than I was before.I have got many ideas that I have to develop this and next year. It will bring me tears, stress, depression, insomnia but I know that at the end it will be worthed. Now, I have some time off and I am preparing myself for a fight. For a long long battle with laziness and other troubles that will be on my way.

 

Of course, this question: What would I do if I go back to the time when I have just finished college? Now I would consider a carrier as a PT and by that time would go to the Cross Fit competition.

 

Things that I hate? I am literally sick of the word Rendering. Any time I see it on the screen, I am about to pass out.