Inner piece

I have no idea how it’s called. Whatever. The most important thing to have it. To stay calm in any situation. I had so much trouble with self-control…like a volcano. You never know what’s gonna happen next. Although, I realized I just wanna stay calm. Tried a lot of things. Neither of them worked. Everything and everyone distracted me a lot. I tried to read Iyengar couple of times. Such an amazing book but it’s not gonna help you if you already stressed. The secret is to found inner piece by changing the way you looking at the situation. Sandra taught me to zoom out you problems. Well, they are important..for you ? But what about you town, country, world?  I guess its just family problems, endless relationship problems, troubles of work…I can carry on describing all the possible problems till this blog ends.

It’s important to have a cold mind. Sometimes, it’s good to shake up, lose control, scout, scream…but not all the time.  You don’t wanna be a volcano. It makes people feel uncomfortable around you. Sooner or later everyone is just tired.

I was tired of being a volcano. This state of mind just takes so much energy. I think I just don’t have any power for the emotions because of the killing workout anyway. I tried to experiment and went to the cardio section. It’s soooo boring…omg. I could only stay there for 15 min and went back to my usual weighting section which feels like home. I guess iI am obsessed with it. Hell knows. When I thought I can’t do anymore, I remembered people who I don’t like and did one more set. Such a motivation ! I guess I need to thank them for that.

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life is unfair…

When you on a diet and trying to eat healthy and keep your abs, but  your flat is a minute walk from Mc Donalds and anytime you pass this place (at least 2 times per day) you imagine yourself eating a burger, Bic Mac, fries and amazing ice cream that tastes so good in your head and don’t forget about Cola. Cold and fizzy. Gosh. I want it.  I’m trying to concentrate my thoughts on something else, but I LOVE food more than anything (any food to be honest). I remind myself that my tight will grow even bigger but to be honest it doesn’t help. I still want it.

Life is even more unfair when you sitting in the office and your colleges brings cakes. NO. They actually place it near you so you can see this tasty cake all day long and amazing smell from cherries.

Sad thing is when I want something I get it 😦

 

 

Danza Kutudo

I love movies. They always chose best music to go with the right moment. I wished it could happen in real life.

I just hate and love in the same time when there is a nice song playing in a right moment in the movie. Hell. So, I experienced that myself. Danza Kutudo, people. It is really fun.

All I could say was “Really?”

Every story has ending. This is happy ending.

Can hapiness kill ya ?

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I doubt so. Just competed my first gig on Fiver. Successful. So happy. Now I have got the whole truck of motivation AND I found definition on happiness. Happiness- is to do what you love. I also love the fact that winter is almost over.

I was desperate for red colour (I don’t fancy it that much usually). So, that was the first day of completing 30 Days digital challenge. So exited to see what is gonna happen on Day 30.

I really hope I’m not gonna end up in local newspapers because the photographers were attacking me. I tried my best to hide in other rooms. So, fingers crossed they will skip images with me.

 

What brings me down?

I started 2016 with working on myself. Some books really helped me out, like Instant Motivation by Chantal Burns and Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. These books really helped me to be back on track and open my eyes on obvious things.

First of all, I had to understand what brings me down.

-Being addicted of the outside sources (even belief that inspiration comes from outside)

– Waiting for best moment/right time.

-Asking too much advice (Do you think I ‘m on the right track?)

-Comfort zone became like a closet for me (cozy, warm, but SMALL)

– My way of thinking (I’ll be happy if…, I’ll start something if…, I’ll be be peaceful  if…) So, I have deleted if’s and  this is what happened. I’m happy, I’m starting  fresh idea, I am absolutely peaceful with myself). My way of thinking and attitude created problems, to be able to solve them I need to change it.

-In terms of projects I always ask too many questions (again IF (what if this is not gonna work, what if it doesn’t looks interesting enough). Since now, now questions, just create. All those questions made almost the good idea wash out and go to someone else). So, just go with it and see what happens!

-Not willing to see obvious things (yes, 100% GUILTY!)

-Negativity (moaning how bad things are). Well, those moans can happen for a short period of time. Then the magic slap should happen. It did happen. I’m happy that there was a very special person who just listened, understood and cheered me up).

I feel like this method really helped to not only understand problems, fears etc. but also overcome them.

 

 

 

My trip to China

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Well, well, well. I came back from China, Shanghai is amazing place. Although, I wish I could understand what people were saying to me. There were guys on the street, talking to me and I had no idea what do they mean. But, without language, I actually discovered so many good things. In the restaurant, I asked for tea. A woman brought me a glass of hot, ginger water. I used to hate ginger so much. But I guess, its time to change my default settings. Let’s say…a software update.

The other thing what stuck to my eyes was the lack of lighting in the shops that are off center. In my European understanding, when the shop is almost dark, its closed. But in China, it’s still open. I like all the eyes catching nice lighting on the building, streets and shops.

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The next thing that shocked me was e-bikes. They are very popular in China, much faster than a bike and yes, you

don’t need a driving license  for them. So, everyone can ride it…without common sense of rules. I was lucky to have a driver, because I have no idea what would happen if a drive in that country. People don’t actually look where they are driving because they have priority over cars.I saw three people on the e-bikes, where the last one was making selfie at the middle of the busy road. Then, I saw people traveling with dogs and even small children. Obviously, helmets aren’t popular too.  Every e-bike is a masterpiece, it has got it’s own unique style. Moreover, people bring blankets with them when they driving.

Ok, let’s talk about tea. All the tea that you can buy in the shop has nothing to do with the real tea. I felt in love with the Korean tea. It has got magical taste. I bought some tea for home, and I have no idea how I’m gonna survive when it’s gonna end. This is the reason why I haven’t bought anything from Chinese make up and skincare. I can’t even imagine what would happen with me. I even hate online shopping, it drives me insane and I hate hate waiting process. I decided to be mainstream, so I stick to my favorite MAC, Lancome, Diesel and Issey Miyake which are available for top ups everywhere.

I enjoyed spending time with Chinese people, I got to know their world, culture and life. Of course, I enjoyed the food so much. I have never ate that much sea food in my life. Greece was the last place where I ate octopus…and now I even ate shark. Last couple of months I was making myself eat, but I ate everything I saw in China. I even started my day with noodles. Architecture is amazing ! I couldn’t take my eyes of the buildings.

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Now, I can’t wait to be back.IMG_0579.jpgIMG_0584.jpg

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Winter comes twice.Overcoming depression

HOPePicture tell thousands words. Since summer I have been struggling with the depression. For many months I have been trying to hide it, pretend that I am fine. But I’m not.

I found the way out from this situation. I decided to face all the fears. This is how I felt. Cold.  So, this drawing really helped me to move on. I made this picture look unpleasant, dark, lifeless….even happy stickers doesn’t look happy anymore…even wings are fallen.

Even if you feel pain, it means you are still alive. If you are still alive, good moments will come. Sooner or later. They will. It takes time and patience.

Nothing can last forever. The good thing is that bad moments pass away, bad feelings fade out, things seems to fade away.Most important thing is to stay strong (even if it’s hard like hell).

So, this picture helped me to heal. Based on this experience, I suggest everyone to draw or write everything you feel.Face it, feel it and let it go. Now I feel fresh and full of life !  Now, its time for traveling, adventures, new people and cultures.

 

Light, give me light

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It’s all about finding light in the darkness. Hopefully, one day I will find bright colours again. Well, at least I’m trying all my best.

Also trying to do my 30 days positive challenge.  Atm I’m quite skeptical but let’s see what happens. Hope for the best

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